Some of them are happy day dreams:
When will the baby come?
What will he look like?
Will he have hair?
Will he look like me?
What will life be like as a family of three?
Seeing Jared hold his son, and holding him myself. . . smelling that wonderful baby smell
Some of them are concerns:
Will my white coat syndrome rear it's ugly head in the hospital?
If I go into labor on Christmas will the staff be attentive? (this is a big concern for me, working in health care I am all too aware of how human we are, being in a hospital on a day nobody wants to work makes me worry about them rushing my labor or making mistakes)
Do I really want an induction or do I want to just wait and take the risk of another doctor delivering my baby (and also potentially going in labor on another holiday, new years, referring to the above concern again)?
So I guess you can say I still haven't made up my mind about my birth plan. I do know I want to try and do things as naturally as possible. . . .don't get me wrong though, I'm ok with medical interventions too, I just think you should have a go at the natural way first. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday, so I guess we will see where I'm at and then talk to my doctor about my concerns then.
In the mean time I'm going to try and focus on my happy day dreams instead.
I was the same way, worried about the actual birth (your white coat syndrome) and what all goes on? I was nervous about all of those details. However, the nursing staff keeps you so busy checking blood pressure, hooking you up to the various monitors, etc. that you don't have time to worry. At least this was my experience. In a way, it was a blur to me, so take pics and video tape (if you want) so you can remember the beautiful moment!
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, labor and delivery wards don't necessarily feel like part of a hospital, so hopefully you'll feel less stressed about that. My other experience is that I always felt like it had to be MY midwife who delivered the baby, which was what stopped me from seeking out a planned home birth with Tommy. In the end, I ended up seeing an on-call midwife that night anyway, and I kind of realized that the experience was more what mattered for me--especially since in a lot of cases, they aren't even there until the very end of your labor, anyway. I wish I would've realized that while I was pregnant with Tommy!
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