This or That

I'm still learning how to do this "stay at home mom" job. It's tough.

Today was the first day in four weeks that I showered before noon. Hallelujah!

I have no clue what I'm doing, but I just know it's hard. It seems like there are days where as soon as I change my little Pumpkin's diaper, it's dirty again. As soon as I put him in clothes, he's barfing all over them (I had to change him twice this morning in the span of 10 minutes).

I don't know what's my priority. What needs to get done first when I get those few precious moments of free time during the day when he naps? Do I clean? Do I eat? Do I shower? Do I try and catch a few Z's myself? Do I have a little fun and read/write blogs? Do I pump some extra breast milk to freeze for when I go back to work? Because it just seems to me that I can only get one or two of those items in.

You never know how the little guy is going to be. Maybe he will be happy, or maybe he'll be fussy. Even when he was relatively good like today. . . I still couldn't get breakfast in this morning. Between the changing his clothes, diapers and nursing him the whole morning was time consuming.

Today I chose to shower in that one free moment in the AM, but I didn't get a chance to make myself breakfast. . . .it's one or the other. Instead of napping, I'm writing this blog. Fortunately the nap is semi-ok to miss today. Nate was a good baby last night and had TWO four hour spans between nursing last night, plus it's almost the weekend which means my night off where Jared feeds him is coming.

I knew being a mommy was going to be a hard job, and I hope that some day I will get the hang of

Now Nate is beginning to wake up, the timer on the oven is going off, and my stomach is growing for dinner to be eaten. . . this or that?. . . Oven first, grab baby to nurse him, and keep my casserole in the oven so it stays warm for when I have time to eat it. Sometimes I can work out the order, but it's a learning process.

One Month

The first photo is blurry because he was wobbly, but he's so cute and look at him holding his head up!

What a difference a week makes. Just in the past two days it simply amazes me the things Nate has been doing.

He smiles!!!! Like serious smiles! Yesterday when he was having tummy time on the floor I was playing with him and kissing his cheeks (like I did in the video I posted). He was so smiley when I would do that. Then later on that night at my parents house I did the same thing and got the same smiley response. I didn't really count the time on the video for his first smiles because he didn't really repeat the response since I caught it on video. Now this morning I was playing with him again and got the same cute smiles. I think since he's repeated the behavior three times now we can officially say he's smiling. Oh my goodness how it makes me melt. I could just kiss his cheeks all day. He doesn't really smile just by looking at you yet, but I'm hoping that it's coming soon.

He's focusing more! He's still pretty spacey but the past few days he's looking at faces more, especially when it's me talking to him. It makes me feel so good that he's starting to develop.

Apparently he hates chili. I had a big bowl of chili for dinner last night and he was up all night fussing. I maybe got 4 hours of sleep. It makes me sad, chili is one of my favorite meals. You'd think he'd be used to it with how much I ate it while I was pregnant.

He's starting to like bath time more! Last bath we kept his tub in the actual bath tub and there were parts of the bath where he didn't cry. He really likes it when we spray him with the shower head.

He hates tummy time, but he's starting to hold his head up a little! He's still pretty wobbly though.

And finally last night he peed on Jared! I'm not quite sure how it happened, I guess his diaper just leaked. I thought it was hilarious, Jared. . . .not so much. :-)

I can't wait to see what he does in the next four weeks! I screwed up in my scheduling and he doesn't have his one month check up until next week, I will post his new stats when I find them out.

Argh

I had a frustrating moment last night.

It all started when Bean woke up for his 3am feeding. I picked him up and put him into bed and started getting ready to nurse him. That's when I realized that I had to pee. Doh! He wasn't really crying at that point, just making noises so I thought I could run into the bathroom really quick before he got too upset to relieve myself.

I left him on the bed and sprinted into the bathroom. All was going quickly until I went to wash my hands. We have liquid pump soap in our bathroom. I don't know how I managed to do this, but I pushed down quickly on the soap pump and it shot up all over my shoulder and my hair. That's when the swearing started (me not Nate), but Nate started screaming at that point too.

Since Nate was screaming it woke Jared up. He picked him up and groggily asked me what I was doing in the bathroom. To which my reply was (as I was trying to rinse my hair in the sink):

"The @#$%^*ing soap shot me in the *&^%ing shoulder and it got in my %$#@ing hair"

Oh yes friends. . . I was pretty miffed. It wouldn't have been bad if it just shot me on the shirt, but my hair got all soapy and trying to rinse it in the sink was annoying, and then I had wet hair (I can't sleep when my hair is wet). Did I mention it was 3am when this all happened? Oye.

I guess the upside that since Nate got super upset waiting, he was wide awake and nursed really well. Yes. . .there is the silver lining. :-) He was also an awesome baby and went right to sleep after we were finished nursing. He must have known that mommy was at her wits end. Such a great kid.

Solo

Jared went back to work today, so it was officially my first day flying solo with little Bean.

The morning started out easy. He woke up for his 6am feeding and then went back to sleep. Woke up again for his 9am feeding and stayed awake. I laid out one of his quilts and we had some tummy time together. When I put him on his back again I started kissing his cheeks and he smiled at me. I even got some of it on video so I could MMS it to Jared.

Then the fun ended. Maybe he was smiling because he was plotting his evil plan. He started spitting up non stop. He puked on his clothes and the blanket that I tried to swaddle him in. Then after I cleaned that up he puked on his tummy time quilt. Then after I cleaned that up he pooped all up his back and on his clothes again (all of this was in a span of about an hour). Then the crying started. He did not want to nap, he just wanted to be held. I was so exhausted, but he finally went down for a nap around 2 so I got in a nap as well. Amidst all this I was trying to pick up around the house (we had company this weekend) and attempted to do 4 loads of laundry. It was all do-able but definitely a lot harder. I really think 70% of the hardness was because of sleep deprivation.

Now Jared is home and of course Nate is sleeping peacefully in his napper. Guess he just missed his daddy!

7.5 Hours

7.5 hours is how much sleep I got in A ROW last night. Jared took two of the late night feedings. I pumped some extra breast milk during the week so he could bottle feed him. It was pretty awesome. Not as amazing as I thought it was going to be though. I still woke up every few hours or so and I missed my little guy. I thought for sure my head was going to hit the pillow and I would sleep like a rock until my alarm went off. I guess my sleep habits are adapting to the baby.

I set my alarm for 7:30 so I could wake up and still feed him. I didn't know if my breasts would get really engorged and I was also worried about giving him the bottle too much. I fed him at 8 and now both of my guys are sleeping soundly. I wonder how long they will both sleep for? It still amazes me how poorly Jared is handling the lack of sleep. Before the baby I always thought he did ok on little sleep, and I was the one who couldn't function. Now all of a sudden he goes one night with interrupted sleep and he's a zombie and I'm the one managing on little sleep. So odd. But I guess it's a good thing because I'm the one who has to get up with him the most often. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really highly functioning (thank God my maternity leave is 12 weeks, I would probably stab somebody with a scaler if I had to work right now) but I'm managing. :-) I also have an amazing husband that picks up all the extra slack so I only have to focus on taking care of the baby, that helps the most.

The Upside of Breastfeeding

I talked about before why I wanted to try breastfeeding in a previous post (free, calorie burn, antibodies for Nate, lower risk of breast cancer). Then I said in the same breath about how challenging and difficult it is. You hear that a lot about breast feeding.

I wanted to take this post to talk a little about the unexpected upsides to breastfeeding that I didn't think about.

- Bonding: Ok, maybe this one is well known, but it wasn't something that I had thought of. I love love love those special moments with my sweet baby. When he's crying and so upset; as soon as I put him in my lap he starts calming down because he knows what's coming. It's so special.

- Lack of Dishes: This is so awesome! No muss, no fuss. If baby is fussy and you want to try and feed him all you have to do is pop him on the boob! No clean up. I've been realizing how nice this is more and more with the pumping I've been doing. It's so annoying to have to wash the pump parts after I'm done. When you are sleep deprived those few moments to wash stuff really do add up.

- Nothing Wasted: If you were bottle feeding you would have to mix up formula. You would also have to take a guess at how much to mix, potentially wasting formula (and money!). There have definitely been those moments where Nate has only nursed for five minutes and then decided he wants to go back to sleep. Even if that happens I just pump and then freeze the milk so we can keep him on breast milk as long as possible when I go back to work. It's almost like a bonus when he decides he doesn't want to nurse long. :-)

Those are the three biggies that I've took note of so far. If I stumble on any others I will be sure to share some thoughts.

"Woo breast feeding! Don't give up!"

Two Weeks Old

I thought I was going to start this post by saying, "I can't believe it's been two weeks already, oh how time has flown." But I'm going to be honest with you here, it feels a lot longer than two weeks. Not that I'm not enjoying every minute of it! Don't get me wrong, it's so amazingly amazing. . . . The lack of sleep just makes it seem like it's been an eternity since I've gotten a full night's rest. I am SO thankful to have Jared home with me. I take care of the baby, Jared takes care of me. It lightens the load just enough to where I do have a little energy during the day.

Nate is. . .wonderful, cute, cuddly, sweet, funny. . .I could go on and on. At this age I know babies don't do much besides eat, sleep and poop, but there are a few things he does that makes me smile even harder.

- He growls. It's so cute. When he gets frustrated when he's trying to latch, or while you are trying to wrangle his arms or feet into his sleeper instead of crying he grunts and growls.

- He does what I like to call a "latch attack" It's hard to describe, but basically he attacks my boob when he's ready to nurse, it's hilarious. I tried to tell Jared about it the first time he did it when we were alone nursing, but it's really something you have to see in person. . . .so I guess this will just be an enjoyment for Jared and I to laugh at.

- His farts are so loud! Oh my goodness baby farts crack me up. He doesn't get mad or upset when he's gassy, he just lets it rip and has this cute satisfied look on his face. He farted on my hand while I was holding his little butt while we were bathing him last night. It was funny, but I was also thankful nothing else came out with it. :-)

- He loves the vibrating "napper" that came with his pack and play. The vibrations are on a timer and only last about 20 minutes or so. As soon as the vibrations stop he starts growling and getting upset.

- Still hates baths. He peed in the tub again last night.

- Loves cuddling. He likes to be the "little spoon" in bed.

We took him to the pediatrician on Monday and he gained 6 ounces in the past week! Now he is just one ounce shy of his birth weight. I'm so proud of us in our nursing efforts. I think Thursday or Friday we are going to take some of the breast milk that I pumped and let Jared take a late night feeding. I'm excited to get some rest, but at the same time I don't like the idea of missing out on that bonding time. We gave him a bottle once (when he had a really lazy nursing day and we were worried about his jaundice) and I was really shocked at how it made me feel. I thought I would be relieved to have a little more free time, but instead I got this upset feeling. It's hard to describe. But a well rested mommy is a better mommy (especially if it's me) so I know it's a good thing to have Jared lighten the feeding load. Plus it will be nice for him to have that daddy bonding time with Nate.

4th Wheel

We are all adjusting to our new addition to the family, including our first "child" Boo. The first few days the cat hid in the basement all day. We tried to show her the baby and she hissed at him, so that put an end to that. She would only emerge to have to treats in the evening and sleep in bed with Jared (I've been sleeping in the guest bedroom with Nate so at least one of us will get a full nights rest).

Well slowly she's been emerging during the day, but will only go near Nate when he's sleeping. Sometimes she will creep over to him and sniff him, but she never touches him. It's going to be so interesting once he becomes mobile, or able to actually focus on something while awake. . .ha.

We are trying to give our "hairy daughter" (as we like to call her) attention, but I have to admit it's really hard to over look her when you are busy with a newborn. I hope some day the two of them will learn to love each other.

Boobie Bar

I thought I was going to hate breast feeding, but even before Nate was born I told myself I was going to at least try because of all the benefits. It's free, the antibodies, the calorie burn, etc, you'd be silly not to try.

The first 24 hours of nursing for Nate and I were pretty rough, he wouldn't latch, he wouldn't stay awake long enough to eat anything. Our first time nursing I tried for an hour and a half to get him to latch, all this after 18 hours of labor, it was exhausing and disheartening. The nurses would bring him in every three hours or so to nurse, and it just wasn't working.

Thank goodness for lactation consultants. After we started working with those wonderful ladies, things slowly started getting better. We had our first successful nursing session about 24 hours after giving birth. I was elated! It was an amazing feeling, I loved it. Watching him eat and feeling his warm body against mine, I melted.

Breast feeding is still really really hard work. Nate still almost always falls asleep while nursing, or half way through he will just stop sucking. His mouth is moving, but I don't hear him swallowing. It's frustrating. Especially at 3am when you are dying to go back to sleep and just want him to eat and get a full belly. Even though it's exhausting because I'm the only one that can feed him, and I'm so jealous when I hear Jared snoring in the other room while I try to wake my sleeping baby so he'll eat (I really hate when I have to wake him in the middle of the night). . . .it's worth it. These moments are fleeting and he will only be this small and precious for a short time.

Last time we went to the pediatrician he had gained four ounces in four days, and his jaundice was getting better. Woo hoo! All our hard work nursing is paying off, thank goodness, I think I would have cried if things have gotten worse after all our efforts.

Next week we go back to the pediatrician for another weigh in. They said that once he gets back to his birth weight we can try to do every three hours between feedings and every four at night. Wish us luck!

365 Project

Just dropping by to mention my 365 photo project, in case you didn't know about it. I created a tab at the top of my blog with a link to my photo blog, for those of you that want a daily photo dose of our family (and to watch little Nate grow up one day at a time!). It's nothing fancy, most of the photos are taken with our iPhones, but at least it's a photo and a memory. You are supposed to only post one photo a day. . . .but I can never pick just one!

He just loves his wrap carrier that his auntie Julie bought him!

Baby's First Bath

We gave Nate his first bath yesterday.

When we first started he didn't mind too much

Then he hated it

He was so mad he peed in the tub, heh.

But as soon as we bundled him up, he calmed down. He's such a mellow baby.

So far things are going well. I think the hardest part is the frequency of feeding and how sleepy he is (we are nursing every 2 hours to make sure he's getting enough to get rid of the jaundice). I almost always have to wake him up, and it's so hard to do. Then when I finally get him awake enough to latch, he falls asleep on the boob. This makes nursing go extra long, usually 45 minutes to an hour. The timing between sessions begins at the start of the nursing session, so this basically means I get an hour, maybe 45 minutes of time between feedings. Phew, it's hard work.

I'm pretty sure our efforts are worth it because I think he's starting to look less yellow/tan. We are going to the pediatrician on Monday, I'm hoping that he will tell us that the jaundice is better, he's gaining some weight, and maybe I can start feeding every 3 hours during the day and 4 at night. When can you start waiting for the baby to tell you he's hungry anyway? I guess I'll have to do some research.