Oh Hello There

I've been pretty absent from my blog lately. The only posts I've been writing are Bean's monthly letters, and honestly my only motivation for doing that was because I wanted to put them in my 365 photo project book.

Did everybody have a nice holiday season?

Ours was busy. I'm used to a very calm laid back holiday. I'm an only child, my mother is an only child and my father's side of the family (2 aunts, 2 uncles, 4 cousins with spouses) all live very far away. . . so yeah, our holidays were pretty much just us. Now between my husband's family, and Bean's birthday. . . things are nuts.

I plan to remedy this by celebrating Bean's half birthday in the summer once he gets old enough to realize what birthdays are. Summer birthday parties are always so much more fun. Plus then he will get presents twice a year evenly spaced out. My birthday is July, I always loved where it fell in the year (except I was always sad I never got my locker decorated during school). . . .speaking of I'm turning the big 3-0 this year. Yikes.

Anyway, I've been working on laying out my 365 photo book in MyPublisher. It's A LOT of work. I've been working on it for over a month and a half now. While the 365 was fun, and I learned a lot, I've decided not to do one again this year. I like how I have a photo a day (mostly of Bean). Watching him grow is so cool, but some photos are junky cell phone ones (not to trash cell phone pictures, some come out beautiful). I am going to keep taking lots of pictures, but I'm not going to stress about getting THAT photo for the day. I'm also going to do another photo book, but it will just be a "2012" one, not a 365. . . MyPublisher is such a cool program, I really hope that the book comes out as neat in real life as it looks on my computer screen.

And just for fun, here is Bean sleeping with his little tushie in the air. Love it when they do that.

12 Months

Dear Bean,

Well we survived our first year together!

Twelve incredible months made up of so many special moments I can't even count.

Today when I was nursing you in our rocker you popped off and signed "milk" to me. Lately you have really starting using the three signs we taught you: milk, more and all done. Then after you signed to me you smiled and continued to nurse. I looked down on you and asked you if it was yummy; I do this a lot when you are eating anything. Again you popped off, babbled "bum bum" (I think you meant yum yum) and then went back to nursing.

After you finished nursing I called downstairs to your Daddy, yelling his first name really loudly. Right after I said that you followed up by yelling, "Da!" You've done this several times in the past few days and it melts my heart when you do it.

Last week you started standing on your own. For the longest time whenever you would stand and let go you would immediately plop on your butt, then all of a sudden you started doing it like it was no big deal. A few days later your Grandma and Grandpa came over and you were showing off your standing skills and took a few steps on your own. I thought it was a fluke but you have been walking more and more every day. Today you took about 5-6 steps before you fell, I think in a week or two you will have it down pat. Then I will really be in trouble keeping up with you.

You are a very musical baby. This month you finally started to clap while I sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." Sometimes if there is music on the t.v. you will do this little dance where you stand and bend your knees and bop your little butt. I think it might be the cutest thing ever. A close second might be when you wave hello and bye bye. Sometimes I swear you even say bye bye too.

While you were staying with your Grandma and Grandpa's for new years eve they said you were playing catch; not only catching the ball but throwing it back. They also taught you how to gently pet Olive, instead of whacking her in the head or pulling her beard. I'm sure she appreciates that new lesson.

You are starting to remind me of a little sponge, picking things up faster and faster. I am so proud to call myself your mother. Watching you grow and develop these past 12 months has been one of the most incredible experiences in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't look at you and think how lucky I am to have you in my life, and how blessed your Daddy and I are to have you as our son.

I love you to the moon and back,

Mama

We Made It

I never thought I'd make it, but here I am nearly 12 months later and still breast feeding.

What a roller coaster it has been. The first five months were ROUGH. Nursing strikes, screaming until let down, herbal supplements, walking while nursing, highs, lows, ups, downs. . . .*big sigh*

It did get better though, but we still had/have rough times. Lately Bean has started to self wean a little. Oddly enough he's giving up his before bed nursing session. I think it's because he's tired and impatient and NEVER wants to wait for let down and my supply is always lowest in the evening too. I don't have the patience to use my tricks to get him to nurse until let down, so lately I've just been trying for a minute or two, and if he screams I just put him to bed. And you know what? It's kinda nice.

Now that he's eating three meals a day and drinks sippy cups of water and juice, there really isn't that pressure to get him to do it. I remember how stressed I was in those first few months being the only one that could feed him, and the only source of food. Having to get up to pump even if Hubs took a feeding because I had to keep my supply up. The lack of sleep. . .oh the lack of sleep. . . .

It's a lot of pressure. Sometimes I questioned my decision to breast feed. Was I ruining his newborn/early months by stressing myself out over this? I'm supposed to be enjoying this because it goes by so quickly. Obviously I never quite got to that point where it was too much, but I'm telling you I teetered on the edge more than a few times.

When I first started breast feeding I couldn't wait until weaning, then things got better and I started having mixed feelings. Maybe I would breast feed longer then 12 months? I never thought that was for me, but I find myself holding onto it for some reason. I think it's because Bean is such an on the go kid, so those sweet moments where we cuddle and he nurses (when it goes well) are so important to me. Also? Change is hard for me. I'm a gal that likes my routine, which is hard to accept (in general) as a parent because things are constantly changing as your child grows. On the flip side I am SO looking forward to not having to pump any more before bed and at work, and I'm crossing my fingers that maybe my boobs will shrink a little because they are way too big for my liking. NONE of my old tops fit. It's really annoying.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure yet how the next month will play out, but I'm definitely proud of myself for making it this far! It was quite a tough journey. I'm going to try and not be sad about weaning and focus on getting excited that after almost two years to finally have my body back to myself!

11 Months

Dear Bean,

I can't believe we are one quick month away from your first birthday. The older you get the bigger your personality gets. It makes me a little nervous that you are only 11 months old and already have such a strong will and mind of your own.

In the past month you have discovered button pushing. You love to cruise over to the cable box and push the on/off button over and over. Cable on! Cable off! Cable on! Cable off! It cracks me up. You have also learned that sometimes buttons do things. When you are pushing the cable box button you will watch the t.v. go on and off. You will also watch the t.v. to do stuff when I let you play with the remote. You are so smart!

I caved and gave you one of your Christmas presents early. A barn yard magnet toy for the fridge. You love to stand and rip the magnets off the fridge and fling them every which way. There is also a button on the top of the barn that you love to push as well, it makes the barn play music.

I have been trying over and over to teach you to clap your hands while we sing "If You're Happy and You Know It," but all I can get you to do is flail your arms up and down excitedly. You haven't quite grasped the concept yet, but it makes me smile to watch you try.

You are babbling all sorts of sounds now, but I'm not sure if you know what any of them mean. You are also finally babbling dada (much to your father's delight). There are some things I know you understand though. "No" because you always cry and get upset when I say it. "Come here" you will usually come to me when I say that, and "more." I have been trying to teach you the sign language sign for "more." You will do it on occasion, but only when I prompt you, I've never seen you do it on your own yet.

You still love eating. Pretty much anything we put in front of you you gobble up. Lately you've started to throw your food on the floor when you are done eating. I feel like I'm on constant clean up duty in the kitchen, especially since you eat 3 meals a day now. Sometimes I feel like as soon as I get the breakfast mess cleaned up it's time to feed you lunch!

You love to walk with your dino push toy. You get so proud when you are walking and giggle the entire time you do it. You haven't figure out how to steer it yet. You get going so fast and then collide with anything that gets in your way.

You don't like reading books yet. Every time we show you an open book, you crawl over and close it and then gnaw on the corners. The only books that slightly hold your attention are the "touch and feel" type books. You love to "pat the bunny." This might also explain why you love grabbing handfuls of cat hair off the cat.

You are no longer my squishy little new born. Always on the go and into everything I see you turning into a toddler before my very eyes. It blows my mind to think of having conversations with you in just a few short months, but I know it will be here before I know it because this year has gone by so fast.

Happy 11 months baby.

Love,

Mama

10 Months

Only two weeks late on this! Progress! :-)

Oh Bean, what a little person you are starting to turn into.

Two days after your ten month birthday you finally cut your first tooth, the bottom front left! The bottom front right is almost popping through. Pretty soon you will be a reverse bunny.

You are growing by leaps and bounds. Still cruising on furniture and trying to stand alone (only successfully for a second or two).

You love to eat. When we sit you in your high chair with food on the tray you sometimes will take three or four handfuls of food to your mouth before you will attempt to chew. You will also pound both hands on your food tray when you want to be fed. You can't talk yet, but you sure have your ways of communicating with us.

You love Grandma and Grandpa's dog Olive. She is actually brave enough to run up to you and lick your face when we let her. You giggle and shriek every time she does. I think you two are going to be great friends as you both grow up.

You are very willful. . .I think that's the nice term for stubborn right? You throw a fit if I take something away that you aren't supposed to have, or heaven forbid I tell you "no." You do your "crazy man" cry and start to scream, but as soon as you get a little cuddle or a new toy you can turn if off in an instant. I call you my little Drama King.

You have such an adventurous spirit. You want to go every where and see everything. It makes me sad that you don't really cuddle, but we still have our sweet moments when you nurse.

You finally are enjoying baths. We bought you a bath mat so you can crawl around the tub without wiping out. . . .now you cry when we take you out of the tub.

The things you hate most are anything that involves sitting still: diaper changes, getting dressed, or your physical therapy stretches. Oh how you scream.

One of your favorite games to play is taking things out of any kind of container. You will sit and rip every toy out of your toy basket, or when you see me folding laundry you love to pull the folded clothes out of the basket.

I can't believe that I have to start thinking about and planning your first birthday party. Now that we are into the end of year holiday season I know these next two months are going to fly by. It's going to be a busy and exciting two months!

9 Months - Briefly

Well I didn't get Bean's 9 month post written. . . .although I have been blogging about all of his doctor visits, so that's pretty much what he's been up to. Here is a quickie.

Quick side note, this photo was SO hard to get. 2 seconds before the photo shoot Bean whacked his head on the floor. I tried to edit it out but you can still see the red mark on his forehead.

Stats: 18lbs 1 oz, 28 inches

He is starting to eat finger foods for dinner. His favorite by far is meatballs. I will put a big variety on his tray and he always goes for the meat first. I think a close second are the Happy Baby brand yogurt melts. My son may have inherited my sweet tooth.

Motor wise Bean is super mobile now. He is cruising on furniture and can even climb stairs! We have 14 stairs from our main floor to the second floor and he can go all the way to the top. Occasionally he will even try to stand by himself but he hasn't done it successfully yet, he usually just plops down on the floor. He likes to chase the cat but she is still too fast for him. He will give her a run for her money when he's walking which I think will be before his 1st birthday.

Bean loves babbling up a storm. He will shriek like a banshee when he sees the cat. He also likes to babble "Mama." I think the months of me saying it to him have finally paid off.

I love when I walk into a room he gets a huge smile on his face and kicks his legs with excitement.

He still hates baths. He wants so bad to be mobile in the tub, but he usually just wipes out and conks his head on the tub. I think we need to get him a non slip bath mat.

We are still successfully breast feeding, but this week we finally had to give him a 50/50 mix of breast milk and formula because we burned through my frozen stash. We made it almost 10 months, not too shabby. The only reason why we need to do this is work only gives me one break to pump, I just can't keep up with him that way, even with the extra pumping I do at night.

His favorite toy right now is a stuffed ball that we won from Dave and Busters. If you sit him on the floor he can even catch the ball. You tell him to be ready and he holds his arms out in anticipation. If you lob it just right he'll catch it and then try to eat it.

He still puts EVERYTHING in his mouth.

Bean also got his first cold last month. It was horrible! He was all stuffed up and he slept almost the whole night on my chest in the rocker, from 9pm to 4am. He ran a 102 fever for about 2 days. Having a sick baby is no fun at all. The only upside to it was the fact that he cuddled with me the night he slept on my chest. Much to my dismay Bean is not a cuddler, he is on the move and into everything.

Hopefully when he is older he will cuddle with me in bed and we can watch cartoons together.

This ended up being a lot longer then I planned. :-) Only 6 more days till Bean is 10 months. Once Halloween hits the end of the year flies by. I'm not ready for this!

Tilty

What a month this has been.

So busy. . . full of not so fun things, namely doctors visits.

Two weeks ago was Bean's PT evaluation, and I think we might possibly have gotten some answers. The diagnosis? Torticolis.

I know what you are thinking. "Wait Kris, you said you talked to your pediatrician and you both agreed it couldn't be torticolis because the tilting was only occasional??"

Yeah I thought the same thing. So I asked the physical therapist the exact same question. The answer I got was this: Bean's torticolis is extremely mild. So mild, that to the untrained eye he sometimes looks like he's not tilting at all when he's feeling good. The tilting will also seem to get worse when he's not feeling well, teething, learning a new gross motor, or overly tired.

Hmmmmm. . . .ok.

Honestly at first I didn't completely buy it, but then she pointed out a few other indicators to me. When he goes from a sitting position to crawling he almost always leads with his right leg. Torticolis kids don't like to bear weight on the side of the torticolis (Bean's is the left side). He can do the left, but he'll only do it when forced to. I've been watching him all this week and she was right, he totally does that!

So now I have to do some stretches with him twice a day, and he's going to physical therapy once a week.

Hopefully this will be the end of the tilting saga. Phew.

Sadly though this will not be the end of our visits to specialists. Bean is going to need surgery soon. Nothing life threatening, but it's something that needs to be taken care of and he will need to go under general anesthesia for. . .which is scary. Not sure when it will all go down yet, but probably some time before his first birthday.

Yay more doctors! (that's sarcasm in case you missed it)