Cute Things

I just wanted to jot down some things that Bean has been doing lately, because they are cute and I don't want to forget them.

1. He plays around my legs. Tonight when we were visiting at my parents house the dog was chasing him/he was chasing the dog. When it was his turn to run, he would toddle over to me giggling, grab me, and then hide his face in my legs. He also did something similar when Bestie came for a visit on Saturday night. We were all in the kitchen and she was trying to say hi to him. He toddled over to me and wrapped his arms around my legs and peaked around the side of me at her. Mr. Shy Guy.

2. Tonight when we got back from my parents house I let Bean toddle around the family room while I put some stuff away. I was in the kitchen and he came walking in holding my big 32oz water bottle in his hands. It was such a sight to see; this little guy (with his snow hat still on), in his brown fleece sweat suit, walking, holding onto my water bottle with both hands, and drinking all at the same time. He must have been thirsty. It was one of those moments where you don't have a camera so you say to yourself, remember this remember this. It was just so adorable. . . .and so grown up looking.

A Rough January

The first month of the year has been a rough one for our little Bean. I feel like in the past two weeks my sweet baby boy has been replaced with Mr. Grumpy Pants.

First of all I think he's teething. He still only has just the bottom and top two teeth and he's 13 months old. Those lateral incisors are bound to be trying to pop through soon.

Second is weaning. Over the past 5 weeks we have weaned down to only nursing first thing in the morning when he wakes up. This is the one time of day I can ensure that I will always be there to nurse him (because of work). It's been hard for both of us I think. One of the most heart breaking things is I feel like I'm taking it away from him just when he learned how to ask for it (by signing). My milk supply has never been great, so even if he asks during the day now, and I let him try to nurse; there is nothing there to drink so he gets frustrated and cries.

The final thing has been a change in routine. Most mornings I will go get him, nurse him in bed, and then we will snuggle and watch cartoons for maybe 30-45 minutes. Well lately on my days off I've been trying to be more active by getting stuff done, and I don't think he likes it.

He's only 13 months old and I swear he throws temper tantrums. The other night while I was trying to cook dinner he screamed the whole time it took me to make it (almost 45 minutes). He was pulling on my pants and throwing himself on the ground. I would pick him up and he would push me away, and then I'd put him down and he would scream even louder. I even tried putting him in the Ergo so I could still cook and he didn't want that either. This fit all started when I took his paci away.

I know he's frustrated because he can't communicate and he doesn't fully understand what's going on. . . .but it's so hard to handle when he's like that. I also don't want to hold, coddle, or give him his pacifier to calm him too often because I don't want to create bad habits.

So any advice for me? Any parenting books to recommend? Is this just a phase? If it is, I sure hope it passes quickly.

Oh Hello There

I've been pretty absent from my blog lately. The only posts I've been writing are Bean's monthly letters, and honestly my only motivation for doing that was because I wanted to put them in my 365 photo project book.

Did everybody have a nice holiday season?

Ours was busy. I'm used to a very calm laid back holiday. I'm an only child, my mother is an only child and my father's side of the family (2 aunts, 2 uncles, 4 cousins with spouses) all live very far away. . . so yeah, our holidays were pretty much just us. Now between my husband's family, and Bean's birthday. . . things are nuts.

I plan to remedy this by celebrating Bean's half birthday in the summer once he gets old enough to realize what birthdays are. Summer birthday parties are always so much more fun. Plus then he will get presents twice a year evenly spaced out. My birthday is July, I always loved where it fell in the year (except I was always sad I never got my locker decorated during school). . . .speaking of I'm turning the big 3-0 this year. Yikes.

Anyway, I've been working on laying out my 365 photo book in MyPublisher. It's A LOT of work. I've been working on it for over a month and a half now. While the 365 was fun, and I learned a lot, I've decided not to do one again this year. I like how I have a photo a day (mostly of Bean). Watching him grow is so cool, but some photos are junky cell phone ones (not to trash cell phone pictures, some come out beautiful). I am going to keep taking lots of pictures, but I'm not going to stress about getting THAT photo for the day. I'm also going to do another photo book, but it will just be a "2012" one, not a 365. . . MyPublisher is such a cool program, I really hope that the book comes out as neat in real life as it looks on my computer screen.

And just for fun, here is Bean sleeping with his little tushie in the air. Love it when they do that.

12 Months

Dear Bean,

Well we survived our first year together!

Twelve incredible months made up of so many special moments I can't even count.

Today when I was nursing you in our rocker you popped off and signed "milk" to me. Lately you have really starting using the three signs we taught you: milk, more and all done. Then after you signed to me you smiled and continued to nurse. I looked down on you and asked you if it was yummy; I do this a lot when you are eating anything. Again you popped off, babbled "bum bum" (I think you meant yum yum) and then went back to nursing.

After you finished nursing I called downstairs to your Daddy, yelling his first name really loudly. Right after I said that you followed up by yelling, "Da!" You've done this several times in the past few days and it melts my heart when you do it.

Last week you started standing on your own. For the longest time whenever you would stand and let go you would immediately plop on your butt, then all of a sudden you started doing it like it was no big deal. A few days later your Grandma and Grandpa came over and you were showing off your standing skills and took a few steps on your own. I thought it was a fluke but you have been walking more and more every day. Today you took about 5-6 steps before you fell, I think in a week or two you will have it down pat. Then I will really be in trouble keeping up with you.

You are a very musical baby. This month you finally started to clap while I sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." Sometimes if there is music on the t.v. you will do this little dance where you stand and bend your knees and bop your little butt. I think it might be the cutest thing ever. A close second might be when you wave hello and bye bye. Sometimes I swear you even say bye bye too.

While you were staying with your Grandma and Grandpa's for new years eve they said you were playing catch; not only catching the ball but throwing it back. They also taught you how to gently pet Olive, instead of whacking her in the head or pulling her beard. I'm sure she appreciates that new lesson.

You are starting to remind me of a little sponge, picking things up faster and faster. I am so proud to call myself your mother. Watching you grow and develop these past 12 months has been one of the most incredible experiences in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't look at you and think how lucky I am to have you in my life, and how blessed your Daddy and I are to have you as our son.

I love you to the moon and back,

Mama

We Made It

I never thought I'd make it, but here I am nearly 12 months later and still breast feeding.

What a roller coaster it has been. The first five months were ROUGH. Nursing strikes, screaming until let down, herbal supplements, walking while nursing, highs, lows, ups, downs. . . .*big sigh*

It did get better though, but we still had/have rough times. Lately Bean has started to self wean a little. Oddly enough he's giving up his before bed nursing session. I think it's because he's tired and impatient and NEVER wants to wait for let down and my supply is always lowest in the evening too. I don't have the patience to use my tricks to get him to nurse until let down, so lately I've just been trying for a minute or two, and if he screams I just put him to bed. And you know what? It's kinda nice.

Now that he's eating three meals a day and drinks sippy cups of water and juice, there really isn't that pressure to get him to do it. I remember how stressed I was in those first few months being the only one that could feed him, and the only source of food. Having to get up to pump even if Hubs took a feeding because I had to keep my supply up. The lack of sleep. . .oh the lack of sleep. . . .

It's a lot of pressure. Sometimes I questioned my decision to breast feed. Was I ruining his newborn/early months by stressing myself out over this? I'm supposed to be enjoying this because it goes by so quickly. Obviously I never quite got to that point where it was too much, but I'm telling you I teetered on the edge more than a few times.

When I first started breast feeding I couldn't wait until weaning, then things got better and I started having mixed feelings. Maybe I would breast feed longer then 12 months? I never thought that was for me, but I find myself holding onto it for some reason. I think it's because Bean is such an on the go kid, so those sweet moments where we cuddle and he nurses (when it goes well) are so important to me. Also? Change is hard for me. I'm a gal that likes my routine, which is hard to accept (in general) as a parent because things are constantly changing as your child grows. On the flip side I am SO looking forward to not having to pump any more before bed and at work, and I'm crossing my fingers that maybe my boobs will shrink a little because they are way too big for my liking. NONE of my old tops fit. It's really annoying.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure yet how the next month will play out, but I'm definitely proud of myself for making it this far! It was quite a tough journey. I'm going to try and not be sad about weaning and focus on getting excited that after almost two years to finally have my body back to myself!

11 Months

Dear Bean,

I can't believe we are one quick month away from your first birthday. The older you get the bigger your personality gets. It makes me a little nervous that you are only 11 months old and already have such a strong will and mind of your own.

In the past month you have discovered button pushing. You love to cruise over to the cable box and push the on/off button over and over. Cable on! Cable off! Cable on! Cable off! It cracks me up. You have also learned that sometimes buttons do things. When you are pushing the cable box button you will watch the t.v. go on and off. You will also watch the t.v. to do stuff when I let you play with the remote. You are so smart!

I caved and gave you one of your Christmas presents early. A barn yard magnet toy for the fridge. You love to stand and rip the magnets off the fridge and fling them every which way. There is also a button on the top of the barn that you love to push as well, it makes the barn play music.

I have been trying over and over to teach you to clap your hands while we sing "If You're Happy and You Know It," but all I can get you to do is flail your arms up and down excitedly. You haven't quite grasped the concept yet, but it makes me smile to watch you try.

You are babbling all sorts of sounds now, but I'm not sure if you know what any of them mean. You are also finally babbling dada (much to your father's delight). There are some things I know you understand though. "No" because you always cry and get upset when I say it. "Come here" you will usually come to me when I say that, and "more." I have been trying to teach you the sign language sign for "more." You will do it on occasion, but only when I prompt you, I've never seen you do it on your own yet.

You still love eating. Pretty much anything we put in front of you you gobble up. Lately you've started to throw your food on the floor when you are done eating. I feel like I'm on constant clean up duty in the kitchen, especially since you eat 3 meals a day now. Sometimes I feel like as soon as I get the breakfast mess cleaned up it's time to feed you lunch!

You love to walk with your dino push toy. You get so proud when you are walking and giggle the entire time you do it. You haven't figure out how to steer it yet. You get going so fast and then collide with anything that gets in your way.

You don't like reading books yet. Every time we show you an open book, you crawl over and close it and then gnaw on the corners. The only books that slightly hold your attention are the "touch and feel" type books. You love to "pat the bunny." This might also explain why you love grabbing handfuls of cat hair off the cat.

You are no longer my squishy little new born. Always on the go and into everything I see you turning into a toddler before my very eyes. It blows my mind to think of having conversations with you in just a few short months, but I know it will be here before I know it because this year has gone by so fast.

Happy 11 months baby.

Love,

Mama

10 Months

Only two weeks late on this! Progress! :-)

Oh Bean, what a little person you are starting to turn into.

Two days after your ten month birthday you finally cut your first tooth, the bottom front left! The bottom front right is almost popping through. Pretty soon you will be a reverse bunny.

You are growing by leaps and bounds. Still cruising on furniture and trying to stand alone (only successfully for a second or two).

You love to eat. When we sit you in your high chair with food on the tray you sometimes will take three or four handfuls of food to your mouth before you will attempt to chew. You will also pound both hands on your food tray when you want to be fed. You can't talk yet, but you sure have your ways of communicating with us.

You love Grandma and Grandpa's dog Olive. She is actually brave enough to run up to you and lick your face when we let her. You giggle and shriek every time she does. I think you two are going to be great friends as you both grow up.

You are very willful. . .I think that's the nice term for stubborn right? You throw a fit if I take something away that you aren't supposed to have, or heaven forbid I tell you "no." You do your "crazy man" cry and start to scream, but as soon as you get a little cuddle or a new toy you can turn if off in an instant. I call you my little Drama King.

You have such an adventurous spirit. You want to go every where and see everything. It makes me sad that you don't really cuddle, but we still have our sweet moments when you nurse.

You finally are enjoying baths. We bought you a bath mat so you can crawl around the tub without wiping out. . . .now you cry when we take you out of the tub.

The things you hate most are anything that involves sitting still: diaper changes, getting dressed, or your physical therapy stretches. Oh how you scream.

One of your favorite games to play is taking things out of any kind of container. You will sit and rip every toy out of your toy basket, or when you see me folding laundry you love to pull the folded clothes out of the basket.

I can't believe that I have to start thinking about and planning your first birthday party. Now that we are into the end of year holiday season I know these next two months are going to fly by. It's going to be a busy and exciting two months!